Experiment: who will become your child. Child psychology: how to determine the vocation of a child Who will your children become in the future

Surely all parents think about who their baby will become in the future. Of course, while the child is still small, it is too early to talk about a possible choice of profession. But still, it is possible to identify some features that one way or another will predetermine the choice of the child. We bring to your attention the following test, with which you can get to know your son or daughter better.

Two statements are offered, the child must choose one.

1. a) I like to visit different places, travel;

b) I don't like going to different places, traveling.

2. a) I like to walk in the rain;

b) When it's raining outside, I like to stay at home.

3. a) I like to play with animals;

b) I don't like to play with animals.

4. a) I would like to take part in an interesting adventure;

b) the very possibility of any adventure scares me.

5. a) I would like everyone to have all their wishes come true;

b) I understand that all the desires of people cannot be fulfilled.

6. a) I don't like to drive fast.

b) I like to drive fast.

7. a) when I grow up, I would not want to become a boss;

b) When I grow up, I dream of becoming a boss.

8. a) I do not like to argue with others;

b) I am not afraid to argue, because it can be very interesting.

9. a) I sometimes do not understand adults;

b) I always understand adults.

10. a) I would not want to get into a fairy tale;

b) I would like to get into a fairy tale.

11. a) I would like life to be fun,

b) I would like my life to be peaceful.

12. a) I slowly enter the cold water when I swim in the sea or in the river,

b) I try to jump into cold water as quickly as possible.

13. a) I don't really like music;,

b) I like music very much.

14. a) I think that being rude and rude is bad,

b) I think it's bad to be a boring and boring person.

15. a) I like funny people,

b) I like calm people.

16. a) I would be scared to fly a hang glider or jump with a parachute,

b) I would love to try hang-gliding or skydiving.

When your child has answered all the questions, check the key.

1) a. 5 B. 9) a 13) b.

2) a. 6) b. 10) b. 14) b.

3) b. 7) b. 11) a. 15) a.

4) b. 8) b. 12) b. 16) b.

If the answer matches the key, then put one point. Then count the results.

If your child scored from 11 to 16 points, he is always striving for new experiences. Everyday, routine, monotonous life does not suit him. Accordingly, a profession that requires monotonous work is unlikely to seem attractive to him. Your child is prone to risk, he can perfectly prove himself in the creative field. Try, as you grow older, to offer him activities that are associated with a frequent change of impressions.

If your child scored from 6 to 10 points, he is perfectly able to control himself. He is certainly attracted to new information. But he will never allow himself to take risks. Your child is reserved and reasonable. He is perfect for a field of activity that requires thoughtfulness and calm behavior. The child may decide on a risky act, but first he will think it over carefully. Almost any field of activity can suit him (of course, depending on his own interests). He will be able to succeed in professions that require a change of impressions, and in those that are associated with monotonous orderly work.

If your child scored from 0 to 5 points, he is very cautious and prudent. He does not strive for something new, novelty scares him. He is contraindicated in areas of activity associated with a frequent change of impressions. Your child will be able to succeed where perseverance, thoughtfulness and attentive attitude to the process of activity are needed.

Child psychology helps to identify the unique abilities of the child. Where do talented and madly in love with their work musicians, doctors, athletes, writers, artists come from? Are they born like this, or does passion arise already in the process of life?

The answers to all these questions are in our material.

Family tradition

In acting, musical or medical dynasties, the choice of a child's life path is often predetermined by the family in which they were born and raised.

Remember the children of actors or singers who, according to their parents, grew up behind the scenes? The desire to become someone like dad or mom does not arise on purpose, but because of the incredible passion for their profession by parents.

Psychophysiologist Vadim Rotenberg tells: “Some abilities of a child, such as absolute pitch or mathematical talent, can be passed on in genes, but there is no gene for a doctor or an actor. It's all about child psychology and the child's need to imitate. And if a child is lucky enough to grow up surrounded by talented and enthusiastic adults, his professional choice becomes more certain.”

The second side of this issue is parents who are not lucky enough to fulfill themselves, and they begin to actively impose their unfulfilled dreams and desires on their own children. If, at the age of 4-6 years, a child encounters a negative reaction of parents to his own choice, he will stop talking openly about his dreams.

Instead of listening to what the child himself wants to do, adults begin to actively "help", intervene and direct. Such children, of course, in order not to upset moms and dads, graduate from music school or medical school, become lawyers or economists, but they are very rarely happy, because they know that this is not their way, but a profession imposed by their parents.

Personal Success

If the child has an inclination or decision and his first steps in these areas are successful - this is already 50% success. After all, everyone likes to do what he does well.

Important point : it is very important that the first children's successes are not overshadowed by negativity on the part of adults. Support your child in his timid endeavors, or at least, if his choice is not entirely to your liking, maintain a benevolent neutrality. Only then can a feeling arise in his soul that this is really his business.

Special Experiences

It's hard to believe, but suddenly and forever a child's fate can be changed by a performance, a chance meeting or a book read. This is exactly what happened to Anna Pavlova, who realized her vocation as an eight-year-old girl, having first entered the Mariinsky Theater for The Sleeping Beauty.

Psychologist Julia Gippenreiter tells: “Children are very sensitive to everything that happens around. If among the impressions of childhood there are special vivid experiences, excitement, delight, surprise - at such moments the child discovers something very important, even intimate.

Not every child dares to entrust his personal thoughts and experiences to adults, they become his dream and the meaning of life.

Of course, children's hobbies can change: just yesterday, the daughter was going to become a teacher, and now he already wants to be a figure skater. The son was preparing to become a pilot, and now he is thinking about the profession of a racer. So the choice has not yet been made.

Children who have really found their vocation do what they love tirelessly, sometimes against circumstances or the will of their parents.

The more passionate the child is, the more clearly he feels and defends his path. And the more it needs the understanding and support of parents.

as compensation

Growing older, the child is aware of his strengths and weaknesses and unconsciously tries to compensate for his imperfection by choosing a certain style of behavior.

Psychologist Alfred Adler tells: "Each of us from a very early age has the ability to focus on our vulnerabilities and find internal resources to compensate for them."

And it is difficult to argue with his conclusion, just remember Demosthenes, a stutterer with a quiet voice, who became an outstanding orator of Ancient Greece. Or Arnold Schwarzenegger, a weak sickly child who worked on himself until he became the one we all know very well.

Psychotherapist and philosopher James Hillman argues that even before birth, each of us carries the image of his personality and his destiny, but after birth we simply forget about our destiny. Maybe he's right...

You should not brush aside childhood dreams and desires, because it is in childhood, not yet burdened by various life difficulties and circumstances, that a child can realize everything that is inherent in him.

And he will make the right choice, which he will never regret!

The Slavs had such an interesting tradition. When the child turned one year old, he was performed the rite of "Postrizhiny". The hairs, which the baby was strictly forbidden to cut before the age of one, were cut off in a special way on this day with consecrated scissors and burned somehow in a special way. The rest of the hair was also cut off, already bald, wrapped in a white towel and burned in the oven. On the same day, a rite was performed with the baby, which predicted the future of the child. This is where I will stop.

In those days, the Slavs in society had four classes: workers, villages, warriors and sorcerers. Today, these classes can be deciphered as follows: workers are simple workers, hard workers; vesi are businessmen, "owners", people who twirl money, give jobs to workers; warriors are managers, officials, in the old days warriors led the state; sorcerers are sages, people of art, scientists, knowledgeable people. I hope everything is clear in general. So: it was very important from an early age to determine to which class the born child belongs (since the child could be called by a different class than his parents). Because, depending on what class the child is, those skills needed to be developed by parents in their baby. And not like now: the parents are doctors and the child is pushed to the medical institute, although he does not have a soul for this business, or the parents are businessmen, and they see their child as the successor of the family business, and the child has a completely different vocation ... Because for the fact that a person does not fulfill his true destiny, he can feel unhappy all his life. In a word, our ancestors acted very wisely with children. How did they know at the age of one year who their baby would become?

Four objects were placed in front of the baby, each object personified one estate. A tool, for example, a hammer (workers), money (vesi), a weapon, for example, a knife (warriors), a book (sorcerers). The item that the baby took first showed his parents his mission.

Even at school, I heard that just a few centuries ago, such an interesting ritual was still common among people. And I remember exactly that it was always held for the children of the rulers. Not so long ago, from Rodnovery friends, I learned in detail about the Slavic tradition of determining the unborn child and decided to perform this ceremony for my son. True, I was a little late: Seraphim was at that time two years and a month old. I laid out four cherished objects in front of the boy ...

Actually, I had suggestions that he might choose. From birth, he loves books, and he hasn’t let go of his father’s instruments since a year, and lately he also liked the money. Unless I did not notice his craving for weapons.

The result of the experiment was a complete surprise for me. Seraphim chose a knife! Something I would never have thought of. He reached out to him so confidently. Moreover, it was clear that he did not take the first one that fell into his hands. In general, we have a growing warrior. Let's live and check.

Experiment: who your child will become was last modified: September 25th, 2017 by admin

What your child plays with can determine his fate. Is it worth taking away the boy's lipstick and Kalashnikov assault rifle?

Guy Seregin

So far, the question remains open: does the child choose toys based on his own, as yet hidden, preferences, or do these preferences arise precisely because toys of this particular type are most often bought for him.

Psychologists generally give an affirmative answer to both options. From their point of view, a person forms an idea about the world around him and his place in it quite early: by the age of five or six, his worldview has actually been formed. This is referred to as "imprinting". It is because of imprinting that most people are so conservative. Here's how it all goes.

The newborn is born a perfect alien and trustingly accepts the terms of the new game. “Ah, that’s how interesting everything is arranged here! The dog says “aw-aw”, the kitty says “meow-meow”, and dad says “Give me poison and five minutes of peace.” White pillows float across the sky, fir trees grow in the forest and bears live, the janitor Uncle Petya smells funny, and girls need to be beaten on the head with a shovel, because they are fools and sneaks. Five or six years of knowledge about the world flows into our head in a wide stream, after which we say: “Well, enough, I understand all your strange rules, now let's play for real!” From now on, all new ideas will be difficult to integrate into a solid system of basic, imprinting knowledge. The role that children's toys play in this basic knowledge is enormous. It is their children that are used as models for checking incoming information. Rolling a bunny on a train or shooting fire-breathing wet slingshots with a laser slingshot, the child creates scenarios of his actions in any possible situation in the future. So all this multi-colored rubbish with broken legs in his room is a huge laboratory in which the child constructs his biography.

Theoretically (bear in mind, we do not give guarantees!) You can influence this process by acquiring the toys for your child that will lead him in the direction you want. To make it clear the direction, we drew arrows from each toy in the direction of who your child can become if he is fond of this particular thing. Note that we have shown humanity: in general, we have several positive scenarios for the development of events, and there is only one unpleasant verdict.

typewriter

Love for everything that is on wheels and can quickly do “whack-whack” appears for a reason. This is a response to the internal protest that the child experiences because of the need to exist in such a miserable, slow and clumsy body. This body does not know how to fly, it needs to poop, then pee, and if it crashes into a wall from a running start, then it will cry for a long time. Besides, it's so small, and all the adults around are healthy and cool. The news that we can improve our stunted bodies with machines excites the child: from now on, he can crawl on the floor for hours, rolling a rat-sized dump truck in front of him and making sounds of a roaring engine (very similar). Famous American child psychologist John Holt advises parents of little motorists pay more attention to children's sports. Such a "physical inferiority complex", if the cars themselves can not cope with it, can lead to a number of psychological problems in adulthood. For example, to the manic desire to pump up a mountain of muscles or pump your virtual superdouble up to level 80. By the way, love for cars since childhood is purely masculine. Girls are much calmer about toy cars, because most of them are not too worried about the lack of their own power, but calmly sit on their dad's arms and show with their fingers what needs to be done, who to get out of the closet and what to drive away.

Weapon

It doesn’t matter if the sword is made from a mop, a bow made from birch or a real flamethrower made from the best Chinese plastic. In any case, this is a magic wand for instantly destroying problems. Nervous mothers are very fond of telling on TV how stupid it is - to give children weapons, even toys, and to develop aggression in innocent crumbs. You can calm them down: Aggressive kids don't need guns.. Aggressive children fight with their fists and the first objects that come to hand, not imagining that the stool in their hand is a flaming magical Excalibur. Most of all, toy weapons are loved just by children who are not aggressive, but have a rich imagination, which instantly takes them from the nursery to distant planets, to criminal areas or to a bloody past, where they play the fight for survival. Like cars, pistols and machine guns indicate that the child is not very sure that he would win in such a fight if it happened for real. In the future, he will not get involved in problems, but he will be happy to watch them from the side, arguing how all this could be wonderfully solved.

Soldiers

Looking at how your son arranges his regiments of many thousands (from epic warriors on the right flank to the “Dead Head” division in the rear guard, next to the Indians), do not rush to proudly think that your future Suvorov is growing. Most likely, you have a future accountant. To shoot this entire horde in a minute from a plastic cannon, it takes an hour to arrange it. But that's the beauty of it. The tendency to systematize facts, to collect and collect, to distinguish objects according to the smallest details and group them according to various characteristics, speaks of a consistent mind, striving to accumulate information. These qualities are also useful in science, but they are especially in demand in jurisprudence, statistics, financial management, etc. True, keep in mind that without sufficient motivation (for example, in the form of a bunch of parental money spent on his education), such a systematizer is quite may be satisfied with a career as a caster of serial blanks in some mossy factory. If only they turned out so delightfully neat.

Doll

This is one of the most complex, important and even somewhat dangerous toys for a child. Boys usually rarely like to play with them, especially because from infancy they are taught that this thing is only for girls, and it’s a shame for a man to mess with dolls. However, if your son froze admiringly in front of the bar with Barbies or baby dolls, do not rush to run for valerian.

“Girls who play with dolls are mistakenly believed to be driven by maternal instinct,” writes child psychology researcher and author of Windows on the Child’s World, Violet Oaklander. “A girl talking with a doll is primarily engaged in introspection, the study of her essence and the nature of man in general.” A doll is a model of a person, including the child himself. And that is why girl dolls arouse less interest among boys with their obvious sexual non-identity.

But the boy conducts similar psychological manipulations with soldiers, brave astronauts and brave cowboys. Therefore, it is very desirable that he had male dolls not of the smallest size in the children's room. By reviving the doll and endowing it with a part of consciousness, the child, in addition, learns the most important function of our species - communication with their own kind, contact and transfer of information from person to person. “It is by communicating with the doll that the child formulates the norms of behavior, emotional assessments, his first general ethical theses,” Ocklander continues. “A doll is an all-seeing and all-hearing, all-understanding object, which at the same time is completely submissive to its owner.” Simply put, a doll for a child is a god, a slave, a friend, and at the same time it is his own reflection. Unlike a living person - a brother, friend or parent, she does not have her own will, which makes her an indispensable object for all kinds of psychological training.

By the way, domestic animals can partially perform the functions of dolls, especially dogs, which, for all their inhumanity, have sufficient intelligence to become a suitable interlocutor for everything.

Teddy bear

Or a bunny, a dog, a horse - it doesn't matter. First, children who prefer an animal model as a confidant, and who do not like dolls, demonstrate a fairly developed sense of species self-identification. They are suspicious and even hostile towards everything that looks like a person, but is not a person. This important mechanism is built into most living beings by nature in order to regulate sexual contacts with similar but unsuitable species for reproduction. An object that is similar in appearance to "one's own", but has a number of "foreign" characteristics, causes rejection, fear or disgust. By the way, this indicates a healthy desire to continue their kind. Such children are often embarrassed to look at monkeys, they are disgusted by clowns., are afraid of people with physical disabilities or members of other races. Dolls seem to them an unpleasant parody of a person, so they avoid playing with them. Secondly, an important feature of toy (and live) animals is their softness and fluffiness, which are very important for children, who for some reason often experience fear. The touch of the soft we perceive as soothing and protective, transporting us to a distant primitive infancy, when we escaped from dangers by clinging tightly to the luxurious manes or wool of our mothers.

Constructor

Do not rush to buy literature about juvenile geniuses, having looked at the Notre Dame assembled from Lego and the working Ferrari, screwed together from those terrible iron plates with holes, with which you yourself in childhood only shot from a slingshot at pigeons that had the imprudence to fly past yours. window. Most teenage geniuses would be very skeptical about the prospect of sitting for half a day screwing, according to the instructions, part A into hole B. No wonder the designer is a favorite toy of autistic children, who are most admired when a pyramid is obtained from five circles, but who are capable of falling into hysterics if someone slips a circle of the wrong diameter into it and spoils the entire logical and only true composition. The pleasure that everything goes according to plan, the satisfaction from the expected results of painstaking work is characteristic of conservative children who can brilliantly show themselves in those professions where discipline, accuracy, corrosiveness and strict adherence to the protocol are important. A child with pronounced creative abilities is more likely to build an ugly tower out of multi-colored cubes, cover it with ketchup, immure a cat in it and try to set fire to this whole structure in order to send it to the moon.

non-toys

At the age of two, when the concept of private property is still inaccessible to the child, he plays with anything. The most important thing in a subject for him is novelty and unusualness. But already at the age of three, the child learns the concepts of “mine” and “alien” and begins to consider his toys as a legitimate part of himself. He prefers to play with them and only raids foreign properties if there is something terribly interesting there - like dad's new laptop, which will probably float perfectly in the bath if you pour a lot of shampoo into it. But some children, to the desperation of their parents, continue to reject toys, entertaining themselves with household items. Having fainted for the hundredth time at the sight of flour scattered on the floor with a pattern of mother's birth control pills beautifully laid out on it, parents usually drag the baby to see a psychotherapist, who explains why this happens: from a deep distrust of others. The child suspects that rubbish is slipped into him, as if he were small and weak (hand on heart, this petty skeptic is right in some respects), and the parents, of course, keep the coolest things for themselves. On the one hand, such a denial of property can make a child a future fighter for freedom and brotherhood throughout the world. But it is also possible that a pathological kleptomaniac will grow up. So often invite guests to your child so that when he sees how aliens capture his airplanes and clockwork frogs, he understands their value.

Until the age of five or six, you can not purposefully show him paintings by other artists at all, not even teach him the basics of technology, because he will always have time to become an imitator and copyist, and absolute freedom of self-expression is much more important in children's creativity. If the child chats when he draws; if he accompanies the damage to the paper with reasoning like “And then ours fly up - tra-ta-ta! Wow! Killed and falls”, then everything goes right, fantasy is born, images replace each other, the young demiurge creates imaginary worlds. Even if these worlds end in big brown streaks all over the page, refrain from critical remarks. You just don't see what kind of boiling of life is happening there, inside, under all these blots and squiggles.



 

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