Funny poems about Natasha. Funny poems about Natasha Funny posts about Natasha

Dear Natalia, dear Nata,
I wish for joy
Fate was rich.
I wish that with a smile
You started your day
In spite of trouble, I laughed
And she didn't get discouraged.
I wish that love
Walked next to you
Embraced by the shoulders
Native man.
For dreams to come true
Wishes come true
To be, Natasha,
You are happy all your life.

Natalia, congratulations
And I wish you happy days.
In business you - only prosperity,
And at home - always understanding.

Let there be light in the soul
Let love give warmth.
Never know problems
Blossom for the joy of us all!

You are like the sun, our joy,
Incomparable Natasha.
Charming beyond measure
And as beautiful as Venus.
You know what to say to whom
You can conquer with a look.
I want to be loved
Strong in spirit, but vulnerable,
Seductive and passionate
Over men domineering hearts.

cheerful lady
And a cheerful soul.
All neighbors approve
You, Natalia, are good!

Dear and dear,
Life giving elixir
Tenderness, grace holy,
In your house, harmony and peace.

Travel with tourism
You love how to drink
All works with optimism
You undertake to fulfill.

Be loved and happy
Give affection to loved ones,
So that unpretentious fate
Only green lights.

You, Natasha, are a clear leader!
Fantazerka, the ringleader.
Gifted man!
Difficulties defuse everything.
Strong will and perseverance
You can easily deal with the matter.
Active person.
Let success accompany!
You are always open, straight
You just keep moving forward.
And your determination
Let it live in you not in vain.
So that in the sharpest turn
You were at the helm!

Natasha, gentle, sweet,
How beautiful you are now!
You give everyone your spiritual light,
There is no better you in the world.

Congratulations, Natasha!
Let, like a full bowl,
Life will be full of happiness
Good luck, love and passion.

We wish you positive
Let the warmth in the soul be alive
May all wishes come true.
Health, success, recognition!

Native, close - Natalia,
You were born to be happy.
Live without falls and sorrows
Always be loved, love!

Keep the family hearth sensitively,
From bright joys to fly.
Don't get discouraged even for a minute
And bloom every year.

Let all dreams come true
Let there be no tears and troubles.
I love you, my Natalia!
You wonder and long years!

Natusik, congratulations from the bottom of my heart
And I wish immediately, without preludes.
Put things aside as soon as possible.
You are ideal, beautiful, like a miracle.

May you always, always be lucky
In everything, success hurries to meet you.
From happiness the heart and soul sings,
In business, everything will always be perfect.

So that everyone smiles only at you,
To be lucky in love and just in life,
So that there is a lot of sunshine in fate.
And all your whims were fulfilled.

I wish you, dear Natasha,
So that the smile on your face shines,
And let joy be filled with a full bowl,
So that you know true happiness!

Love and be loved, smile
Do not know sadness, sadness and anxiety!
Always easily achieve all goals
And bloom like a flower!

My beloved Natasha
You shine bright like a star
There is no more beautiful woman in the world
After all, you are beautiful, as always!

May every moment bring joy
Let all dreams come true
Let the heart sing sweetly
May you all be happy!

Natasha has a store. Natasha has a jeep.
I fell in love. I'm gone. I got into Natasha.
I have shit. That's the type I am.
There is only one thing left for me - to throw myself under the jeep.

That's it! Hello Natasha!
Come to my house!
Do you want sugar, Natasha?
Eat yourself, lumpy!

Do you like rum or tequila!?
What shisha?!
I chatted with you.
Bye! Call! Write!

If your name is Natasha,
So Botox is not terrible for you.

I love my Natasha Even stronger than Masha.
I love Anna too.
I sing songs to the clave.
Zinke - only kerosene; Well, why does the wife need gasoline?

Mom and dad love their daughter
She - a bracelet, she - a chain.
It's a pity, I'm not a couple for Natasha,
I have one guitar
Two holey, dirty sneakers,
Sandwich, since lunch.
True, there are three chords,
With them I walk proudly.
For Natasha, if necessary
There will be a serenade at night.
And huge daisies
Straight from the flower bed, for Natasha.
But the neighbors below say:
“You'd better choose Lisa.
After all, she, like you, is shaggy!”
And they put my brother as an example.
And the neighbor on the right says:
“The government has not yet been found
On such a pirate!
And he puts my brother as an example.
You are not suitable for "Lady" -
So did all the neighbors!
But Natasha, I know for sure
Not evil in nature.
Let people say different things
She won't listen to them! What matters is that I'm good
Not that I'm disheveled!
And to spite the old neighbor
Natasha and I will become a couple.

Our Natalia has a thin waist,
Antique nose and vitriol character.
All Natalia is fitted,
Sultry killer.
She will look - and you Khan.
Let's drink for Natalia, for a happy waist,
For the antique nose and character of vitriol!

Natasha ran into a tiger in the jungle...
She returned to her grandmother in a tiger skin.

Available in our apartment
Girl Natasha.
Her mother brought her a box of chocolates.
And she said sternly:
"Eat some now
The rest tomorrow
Put it in the buffet."
And Natasha sat down,
I ate all the sweets
Eating and laughing
“Mom, do not scold.
I didn't forget
Remember you taught
Never for tomorrow
Don't leave things!"

Nata, my girl,
Are we still friends?
Well, then wash the dishes,
I will be friends with you.

From the Urals to Antalya
Better not our Natalia,
Eyes - shine! Figurine - in!
And a lot of other stuff...

We want to wish Natasha
Every day to be more beautiful
To be successful and loved
Of course, love yourself!

Jewelry - so many,
Shopping - only expensive,
And always on the horizon
Looming spare groom!

If your name is Natasha -
The bust is good, but Masha is better.

Agree that Natasha
They don't call it "turd" for nothing.

If your name is Natasha -
There is no better face for you.

The girl Nata played on the river,
The girl Nata fell into the water.
I dived on Wednesday - I surfaced on Saturday,
20,000 leagues under the water sailed.

Natasha sang a song
Very loud, very bold
Nata likes to perform:
Songs to sing and dance.

We have Natasha fashionista,
She's having a hard time!
Natasha has heels
Like adults, high
Here is such a height
Here's a dinner!

Poor thing! Here is the sufferer
It goes, a little does not fall.

Baby with open mouth
Can't figure it out:
- Are you a clown or an aunt?
On the head - a cap!

It seems to her - passers-by
Don't take your eyes off her
And they sigh: - My God,
Where did you come from?

Cap, short jacket
And mom's coat
Not a girl, not an aunt,
And no one knows who!

No, at a young age
Keep up with fashion
But, following fashion,
Don't spoil yourself!

Natalie, Natasha, Tata,
Beauty, mind - chamber.

We are gathered here today
Not to get drunk again
Not to fix the waist
And congratulations to Natalia!

God rewarded Natalya
Breast - an important detail,
That's why Natasha's appearance
The front is fully decorated!

We wish you a birthday
Less stress in life
As usual, be, Natasha, -
Our best friend!

Colonel's granddaughter, girl Nata
I pressed the button on the remote control inappropriately.
With a roar of rockets they went into the sky
We did not find England and France.

Natasha told the boy
Our friendship ended today
I fell in love with another naughty boy for a long time
She also added "I invite you to our wedding tomorrow"
Resentment choked the boy, but he restrained himself and did not show
He left and didn't say a word.
But Natasha caught up with the boy, laughed loudly and said
“Stupid, did you really believe it, because today is April 1st.”

What a thing, this Nata,
Whatever you give, it's not enough for her.
No one knows
Nata hides the stash, for future use.

Make up your face in the morning
Pineapple for breakfast
Such a wonderful bird
Smells like an aristocrat.
Shawarma is not her food
Pineapple - that's it!

Virgin Natasha rode the elevator -
The legs left, the butt remained ...

Who is the smartest? Who is the best?
All the more charming and beautiful?
Calm down with whom and more fun?
The answer to all is one: Natasha!

No wolf, no crisis, no traffic police
With you, no one is afraid of me
For five Marinas, for six Irins
I will not change Natasha!

And I love Natalya's day -
Let Tatiana forgive me
On Tatyana's day, I'm too lazy to get up,
In Natal'in, I jump up early.

I'm going to the flower shop
And I buy a hundred bouquets
And a hundred bottles of the best wines
In another, of course, but not in this.

And I'm on my way
And I smile like a scumbag
And on the glass is a large poster:
Which of the passers-by here is Natalya?

And I give each bouquet
And a better bottle of wine.
Smiles received in response,
I put them in a piggy bank

But your brightest bouquet
And the best wine of course
And my best regards
And the kindest, most gentle

I don't give it to anyone
And the coast for Natalis,
What writes lines at home,
And the heart reaches the heights

Natasha did not feed the dog for three days,
She didn’t let me drink and didn’t take her for a walk,
The school director should come to them,
He can't get away from the dog alive!

At the beautiful Natasha
There are peanuts and pistachios
Two stuffed chocolates
And the drink is very sweet.
And put on her feet
Dear sandals.

If they call Natasha -
It will be better only with Pasha.

Awards and regalia
I'll put everything on tomorrow
Then I will appear to Natalia
In all its glory.

But what an obsession
She is in broad daylight
In the moment of awakening
Kiss me all of a sudden!

Let people smile.
Sleep in hand, gentlemen
May my dreams come true
Always come true!

In the morning, smart thoughts attacked Natasha.
"They attacked the wrong one!" thought Natasha,
and began to think, as usual, about garbage.

On the hood of the car is scrawled:


On the hood of the car is scrawled:
- Kostya, go to Odnoklassniki! (Natasha).
- Natasha! Don't do that again! (Kostya).
- Natasha and Kostya - YOU ARE DEAD! (machine owner)

Lieutenant Rzhevsky and Natasha Rostova are lying in bed.
- Natasha, you are just like a steam heating battery.
- What, so warm?
- No, ribbed.
Natasha was offended and also decided to be sarcastic.
- Lieutenant, but your x% is like a London Express!
- What, so fast? - the lieutenant was delighted.
- No, it costs exactly two minutes.

Natasha Rostova came to the Rzhevsky regiment. She saw a thoroughbred horse and says:
- Lieutenant, I want this horse!
- This is not for you Natasha, he breeds mares!

Hello, who is this?
- Natasha.
- Which Natasha? I know about seven...
- How is this?! ! We slept together, we even seem to have a relationship ...
- You know, you didn't specify shit right now ...

Hello, who is this?
- Natasha.
- Which Natasha? I know about seven.
- How is it what? We slept together, we even seem to have a relationship.
- You know, you didn't specify shit now ...


Mother comes in and asks:

Girl snapping her fingers
- Exactly! Natasha!

A girl comes home smoky, sits on a chair and starts snapping her fingers. Ten minutes clicks, fifteen, half an hour - she sits motionless and clicks.
Mother comes in and asks:
- Natasha, are you all right?
Girl snapping her fingers
- Exactly! Natasha!

Natasha, eat a piece of cake.
- Thank you, Yura, I don't want to.
- Well, eat. Delicious!
- No thanks. I don't eat after six.
- Natasha, please.
- Yura, I don't like sweets at all.
- Eat the cake, fool! There is a ring, I want to marry you!

Tell me, Victor, why did Natasha punch you in the eye on the first day of our acquaintance?
- We walked with her around the zoo - he began to explain terribly stuttering - I saw two monkeys kissing on a tree and said, “Natasha, why not follow their example?”. And received!
- But why?
- Yes, because while I was saying all this, the position on the tree has changed a lot.

Phone call:
- Hello, Natasha, can I?
There is a long pause on the other end:
- Ah, good idea!

Rzhevsky says:
- For the first time yesterday I kissed Natasha, so she crushed my pince-nez with her hips!

As a child, her mother scared Natasha that her uncle policeman would take her away, now Natasha is 40, and she only counts on this.

Masha is good, but her wife is Natasha.

Natasha, why are you constantly scolding me?!
- I can sing!

Natasha did not believe in any signs, so her rights were taken away from her.

Natasha, my parents are going to the theater today...
- Overnight?!
No, for the weekend...

Natasha... I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I love you!
- I'm Denis.
- Do not carp!

In order to save on treats during her son's birthday, Natasha gave birth in fasting.

Kristina Orbakaite, Natasha Koroleva and Alsou ended up on a desert island. Bad business: no boat, nothing to eat. One thing is good - a cell phone was found, only it had a charge left for one call.
- I should call my mom. She will do everything to save me,” says Christina.
“No, no,” Natasha objected. - It is better to call my Tarzan, he loves me so much that he will definitely find us!
- It's all bullshit, - Alsu tells them. - We should call my dad and say that we found oil here! And there, let him have a headache, from where we just called!

At school.
- Children, get pencils and paper. Today we will try to draw a horse, and Natasha Petrova will try not to move!

My niece went to the 1st grade this year, I ask her:
- Natasha, what did you like most about school?
- Mashed potatoes with a chop.

Drunk Natasha had almost calmed down and stopped singing and dancing around the cabin, but then a flight attendant, whose name was Zhanna, approached her ...

Take off your panties and turn around.
- No, Dima, I don't want it in the ass.
- Don't be afraid, Natasha, it doesn't hurt.
- And Lenka said that it hurts.
- Lenka was spinning, I really couldn’t get in, so it hurt.
- I'm shy.
- Natasha, we have known each other since school. And in general, I do not need to be shy. It makes no difference to me whether you are a man or a woman.
- Can you not look?
How will I get there if I don't look?
- And you feel.
- Think of it too, to the touch ... Okay, open your mouth. On here, swallow ... Only a pill is nonsense. A prick is more reliable. Go, tell there, so that the next one comes in.
How I got all this!
Damn job giving flu shots to these women from the weaving mill...

Mom, who is Aunt Natasha talking to on the bench?
- Where? Ah... It's her boyfriend.
- What, ears eats?!

- Natasha, I dreamed about you today ...
“Wait a minute, you said you dreamed of all kinds of garbage!”
- I just clarified.

Boss:
- Natasha, did you do what I asked yesterday?
- Not! But don’t think, if I don’t do anything at work, this doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about business!

I can't find my life partner!
- Crap! Yes, you try to shave off your beard and mustache.
- Do you think it will help?
- You try, Natasha, try.

Natasha Rostova to Lieutenant Rzhevsky:
- Tell me, lieutenant, did you have a great and bright love?
- Of course - there was a merchant with my height, a blonde of six pounds!

Women can do everything. Singer Slava, singer Maxim... Just imagine: singer Natasha, singer Katya.

The plane took off. The skydiving instructor walks past those preparing to jump, shakes everyone by the parachute straps and asks the last one:
- Eggs do not rub?
The parachutist answers him:
- Not!
- The name of?
- Natasha

Lieutenant, can you guess the riddle?
- With pleasure, Natasha!
- With pleasure?! With pleasure?! Lieutenant, are you generally capable of not thinking about "pleasure", are you such a pervert ?!

Lieutenant Rzhevsky has a birthday. Natasha informs him that she has a present for him. strips naked and she is left with only a bow in the most piquant place!
The lieutenant, rolling up his sleeve to the elbow - "Well, how far is he there?"

Mom: -Aunt Natasha is leaving, what should I say?
Son: I don't know.
Mom: Well, what do I always say?
Son: The stupid fool is finally gone! again
I ate all the sausage and cheese!

A 15-year-old son brings home a drunk homeless woman of indeterminate age.

Mother, father! This is Dazdraperma. We are expecting a baby. She will live with us.
Dad - stupor, mom - fainting.

Come on, I joked. Natasha is her name.

Honey, what do you want for your birthday?
- Dear, I want to go to the beautician for a facial.
- Damn it, Natasha! So, if they ask me what I gave you, should I say that I cleaned your snout?!

Pierre Bezukhov proposes to Natasha Rostova.
- Pierre, dear ... I must confess to you that you will not be the first with me ... and not even the second!
- And when did you have your first love, Natasha?
- Ah... at fifteen! With lieutenant Rzhevsky!
- And the second one?
- Second? With him, at 15.30!

Two brothers are sitting in a room. Phone call. One of the brothers picks up the phone:
- Petya, this is for you.
- Brother, if it's Masha, Liza or Natasha, then I'm not there, but if it's Katya or Marina, then I'll take it.
- It's a venereologist...

Somehow Natasha Rostova comes running to her father, all excited:
- Daddy, daddy, this scoundrel Rzhevsky promised to publicly rape me!
- Yes, yes, the lieutenant can ... For example, the other day I was staring at a mare in the stable, so this prankster made such a face - I only had the reins in my hands!

The mother brings her little daughter to a psychiatrist.
He asks her:
- Girl, what's your name?
- Natasha.
- And how old are you?
- 5.
- What time of year is it?
- Summer.
- Masha, what a summer. Did you go sledding yesterday?
- Yes.
- Did you make a snowman?
- Yes.
- So what is this summer!
- This is such a bad summer!

I go into the office, Natasha is all glowing with joy. He says - "Estimate, I won on the radio! I sent an SMS with the answer to the question and won a certificate for the veterinary clinic."
I'm asking:
- What was the question?
- Who can play different sounds of other animals when scared?
Variations: deer, ferret and stoat. Well, I thought: birds can do everything! ... And I wrote - "ermine".

Lieutenant Rzhevsky and Natasha Rostova went into the woods to make love. They took a worker-peasant position and began to give themselves to each other with a twinkle. A squirrel ran along a twig nearby, the twig crunched, Natasha was frightened, the vagina shrank. Rzhevsky can’t pull out his accursed offspring in any way. They crawl through the forest to the village. Tired, sweaty. Rzhevsky says wearily - I told Natalie, let's do cancer, now they seem to gallop.

Petya fell in love with Natasha.
He comes home and tells his parents:
- Mom, dad, I'm getting married!
- On whom? the mother asks excitedly.
- Yes, on Natasha from the 2nd entrance!
The father darkens before his eyes and says in dramatic falsetto:
Son, I need to talk to you!
They go into another room.
After hesitating a little, the father says:
- Petrusha, you must understand me. I love your mother, but when we were young, I fell in love with Natasha's mother from the 2nd entrance a couple of times. I'm sorry, but you can't marry her - she's your sister!
Petya's life drama lasted 6 months.
On the seventh month, happy Peter comes home and declares:
- Marry Svetka from the house opposite!
The conversation with the father is repeated literally. Peter is shocked! Runs to mom.
- Mom, so I will never marry - dad is the illegal father of all the girls on our street and therefore they are all my blood sisters!
Mom smiles kindly and says:
- Don't worry, son, marry Svetochka. He may be her father, but you certainly are not!

Petya fell in love with Natasha. He comes home and tells his parents: "Mom, dad, I'm getting married!" - He speaks. "On whom?" the mother asks excitedly. "Yes, on Natasha from the 2nd entrance!" The father darkens before his eyes and says in dramatic falsetto: "Son, I need to talk to you!" They go into another room. Having hesitated a little, the father says: "Petrusha, you must understand me. I love your mother, but when we were young, I fell in love with Natasha's mother from the 2nd entrance a couple of times. Sorry, but you cannot marry her - she is your sister!"
Petya's life drama lasted 6 months. On the seventh month, happy Peter comes home and declares: "I will marry Svetka from the house opposite." The conversation with the father is repeated literally. Peter is shocked! Runs to mom. "Mom, so I will never marry - dad is the illegal father of all the girls on our street and therefore they are all my blood sisters!" Mom smiles good-naturedly and says: "Don't worry, son, marry Svetochka. Maybe he is her father, but you certainly aren't!"



 

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